Lessons From My Dad On Memorial Day
Today is Memorial Day, and on this day I honor my dad, Jacob, who left this world in February 2014, and I thank all the men and women who have served this country. Of course, Memorial Day is to honor those who died in service, and mercifully, my dad did not. However, he often reflected on friends he lost during the Korean War, and this day was important to him, as it should be to all of us in this country.
My dad was a boy in Brooklyn during WW2 and loved to tell stories about the neighborhood. This was a picture he had of my grandfather and neighbors.
Brooklyn, sometime during WW2. My grandfather is the second from the right. Look at how proud and serious the men are!
When I look at it, I can hear my dad’s cute giggle as he told this story: There were concerns that we would be bombed and these gentlemen were the team that was tasked with extinguishing fires in the case of a bombing. My dad never stopped laughing as he pointed out the little bucket, which would need constant refilling, and the short hose that would not reach very far, clearly not the most effective method for dealing with the situation!
Daddy was such a proud Marine and a real patriot. It upset him that over the years he saw less and less flags flown around our neighborhood. He wore his USMC cap so proudly and loved to run into other veterans and share stories. But I was his Private Benjamin. The first time I drove him to the VA Hospital out in Northport, Long Island he just shook his head when I clapped and waved as the guard at the gate saluted us when I flashed Daddy’s VA card. Daddy saluted, shook his head and laughed. Although he was not an observant Jew, his Marine Corps experience, where he was one of 3 Jews, gave him a sense of pride in his religion and he did not tolerate any discrimination, gaining the nickname of “that crazy Jew” because he would fight anyone who even looked like they were going to say anything derogatory. He trained down south during the days of segregation, and he remembered with sadness and contempt the way he was not allowed to sit on the bus with his African American USMC buddies and how disgusted he was by those attitudes, which were so different from up here in the north.
Daddy at Mitchel Air Field on Long Island. He was worried that he wouldn’t get in or out of that plane!
The Cradle of Aviation Museum and events at Mitchel Field were favorite destinations for my dad. Since he was trained as a pilot, he loved to see the old planes! I went with him a few times and although I cannot say I shared his enthusiasm, I loved to see him so happy. And, I felt a lot of pride to see him meeting other veterans and sharing stories of their time in service. I proudly display in my apartment his model of the F7, the plane he flew, along with one of his USMC caps.
Daddy at the Cradle of Aviation Museum.
In more recent years, Daddy knew the young guys in his neighborhood who returned from deployment. Some of them had trouble getting back into life and my dad was concerned about them. I was always surprised by how much he knew about them, but he took the time to really talk to them. We read a lot about the effects of multiple and extended deployments. My dad understood it well and he felt for these “kids,” as he called them. I learned so much about compassion from my dad.
Daddy loved when people spotted him in his USMC cap and said, “thank you for your service.” He said it to any veterans that he met, too. I had the privilege of meeting many veterans when he was at the VA hospice in Northport. They were proud. They had many stories. And they were still fighting for their lives, in a different way. They were patriots and they inspired me.
You could take the man out of the USMC but you couldn’t take the USMC (or the camouflage) out of the man!
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of and miss my dad. I miss his laugh, his kindness, his advice, his sense of humor, and his history lessons. I’m glad he’s not witnessing the current events in this country. He’d be devastated, and he would also be reminding me that history does indeed repeat itself. I do wish I could call to discuss things with him, knowing that I would be holding the phone away from my ear because he would definitely be yelling!
Memorial Day is a special time to pay tribute to those who lost their lives in service to this country, to make things better for us. It saddens me to feel that our current administration does not really care about making things better for its citizens. But, maybe that’s why it’s even more important to remember those people who did care, to honor and support those people who do, and to reaffirm our love for this country and determination to honor our founding principles.
I thank all of the men and women of the military for their service and I remember with pride and great respect those who lost their lives in service to this country. And, of course, Semper fi, Daddy!
A Disney note:
Since I do make Disney connections in most of my posts, I would like to recommend Disney During World War II: How the Walt Disney Studio Contributed to Victory in the War, a fascinating coffee table book published in 2014. Although it was published after my dad passed away, I bought the book because it reminded me of my dad and how much we embraced each other’s lives.
Walt Disney Treasures: On the Front Lines, is a 2-disc DVD set, released in 2003, which highlights Disney’s contribution to American military participation in World War II. This collection contains 32 short films used for training, propaganda and education. This set also contains the feature-length “Victory Through Air Power,” a propaganda film not released since its 1943 theatrical debut. My dad was amused at my ability to find this connection between my love for Disney and his love for WW2!