Today, July 8, would be my mom’s birthday. I have written quite a bit about my mom and how close we are, most recently on Mother’s Day, but also on the anniversary of her passing and in many references on this blog.
When I think about being in the hospital with Ben two years ago on her birthday, and wondering what was going to happen to him while missing her, I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have lost the people I loved the most in the world. I do feel so fortunate to have known and shown so much love in my life. But, sometimes it can feel terribly lonely.
Last week, Michael Bond, the creator of Paddington Bear, passed away. Paddington Bear was my mom’s other favorite character. I remembered how excited my mom was to go to Paddington Station and the Paddington store in Paddington. The woman in the shop was so taken by my mom’s exuberance over the little bear and being in the shop- it was hard not to get caught up in my mom’s child-like delight- that she excitedly handed my mom a Paddington Bear doll to hold while I took her picture. So, it wasn’t all Disney, but Mommy’s first true love was Mickey.
I look at our old photographs and remember the laughter. I am proud to have inherited her ability to celebrate her inner child, her youthful demeanor and her joyful spirit. Sometimes people are surprised that she passed away more than 25 years ago, because I talk about her so frequently and vividly. She is always dear to my heart and so much a part of who I am, but also, of the person I aspire to be.
On her birthday, I like to watch “The Little Mermaid,” because I love to remember how much we laughed when we watched it together, particularly when we looked at my grandma, who just did not understand our delight.
Happy Birthday, Mommy! I love and miss you every single day.