Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs

In Caregiving and in Grief, I Could Be All Seven Dwarfs, Sometimes in ONE Day!

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Original ad for the movie premiere.

 

On this day, December 21, 1937, Walt Disney’s first full-length feature, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs premiered at the Carthay Circle Theatre in Los Angeles.

I wish I could say that I have navigated caregiving and grief like Snow White, the graceful princess who happily sang her way through taking care of the seven dwarfs to a happy ending. I do believe that at times I was that person to Ben and my dad. I was very much the cheerleader and the person who tried to keep them entertained. I was also the nurturing person who managed the details of their care, the way that Snow White kept her household together, except that I lack her stellar housekeeping skills! Alas, I relate more to the dwarfs! I’ve written about how, as a caregiver, I often felt like all seven dwarfs in the course of a single day (click here for that post).  To mark this anniversary of the film’s premiere, it seems fitting to me to reflect on how, in grief as in caregiving, I can feel like all seven dwarfs- at times, within the course of a single day.

Happy– In the early days of grief, you could call me Happy in those moments when I was lost in good memories or I woke up without dreading the day and the thing that would trigger my sadness. Now, you can color me Happy when I realize that I am not just going through motions, and I actually am enjoying a moment in the present without feeling guilt.

ALS,Grief,Disney,Snow White,Caregiving, 7 Dwarfs

Doc– Call me Doc as I diagnose my grief. Am I doing ok? Will people think I’m doing ok? Do I care if people think I’m doing ok? Should I care? Where should I be right now in this process? Am I “normal”?

On this day, December 21, 1937, Walt Disney’s first full-length feature, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” premiered at the Carthay Circle Theatre in Los Angeles. I wish I could say that I have navigated caregiving and grief like Snow White, the graceful princess who happily sang her way through taking care of the seven dwarfs to a happy ending. I do believe that at times I was that person to Ben and my dad. I was very much the cheerleader and the person who tried to keep them entertained. I was also the nurturing person who managed the details of their care, the way that Snow White kept her household together, except that I lack her stellar housekeeping skills! Alas, I relate more to the dwarfs! I’ve written about how, as a caregiver, I often felt like all seven dwarfs in the course of a single day (click here for that post). To mark this anniversary of the film’s premiere, it seems fitting to me to reflect on how, in grief as in caregiving, I can feel like all seven dwarfs- at times, within the course of a single day. Happy- In the early days of grief, you could call me Happy in those moments when I was lost in good memories or I woke up without dreading the day and the thing that would trigger my sadness. Now, you can color me Happy when I realize that I am not just going through motions, and I actually am enjoying a moment in the present without feeling guilt. Doc- Call me Doc as I diagnose my grief. Am I doing ok? Will people think I’m doing ok? Do I care if people think I’m doing ok? Should I care? Where should I be right now in this process? Am I “normal”? Bashful- Sometimes it’s embarrassing to have a setback or to feel overwhelmed with sadness or tears, especially when I feel that people are judging how I’m grieving, how long I’m grieving, and what I am doing to continue living and reshape my life. It can be difficult to ask for help, and I’m growing too Bashful to ask people who have been listening to me to continue to do so. I’ve repeated the same things so many times, and I do wonder sometimes what people must think. Sleepy- There are many sleepless nights for so many reasons- recalling good and bad memories, anxiously contemplating the future and feeling the loneliness and the loss. Dopey- Being caught between the past and the present can be baffling. Sometimes I find myself buying something because Ben would have wanted it. When I get home, I am only reminded that he is no longer here, and then I do feel Dopey, and more sad. There are also times when, in the middle of nowhere, something will trigger great sadness and I will break into tears. People are generally understanding, but I still feel kind of Dopey, and Bashful, for that matter! Grumpy- The conflicting emotions of grief definitely make me Grumpy at times. Sorry! Sneezy- Still allergic to Disney, the cat! I still would not trade her for anything. She has been the greatest comfort to me. How about you? Are you more Snow White or one or more of the dwarfs?

As you can tell, Ben preferred to take my pics with the dwarfs!

Bashful– Sometimes it’s embarrassing to have a setback or to feel overwhelmed with sadness or tears, especially when I feel that people are judging how I’m grieving, how long I’m grieving, and what I am doing to continue living and reshape my life. It can be difficult to ask for help, and I’m growing too Bashful to ask people who have been listening to me to continue to do so. I’ve repeated the same things so many times, and I do wonder sometimes what people must think.

ALS,Grief,Disney,Snow White,Caregiving, 7 Dwarfs

Snow White and I love Bashful!

Sleepy– There are many sleepless nights for so many reasons- recalling good and bad memories, anxiously contemplating the future and feeling the loneliness and the loss.

ALS,Grief,Disney,Snow White,Caregiving, 7 Dwarfs

Walt Disney World Halloween Electrical Parade

Dopey– Being caught between the past and the present can be baffling. Sometimes I find myself buying something because Ben would have wanted it. When I get home, I am only reminded that he is no longer here, and then I do feel Dopey, and more sad. There are also times when, in the middle of nowhere, something will trigger great sadness and I will break into tears. People are generally understanding, but I still feel kind of Dopey, and Bashful, for that matter!

ALS,Grief,Disney,Snow White,Caregiving, 7 Dwarfs

Not sure which of us is the real Dopey!

Grumpy– The conflicting emotions of grief definitely make me Grumpy at times. Sorry!

ALS,Grief,Disney,Snow White,Caregiving, 7 Dwarfs

Ben (pre-ALS) and Grumpy, Walt Disney World, 2001

Sneezy– Still allergic to Disney, the cat! I still would not trade her for anything. She has been the greatest comfort to me.

ALS,Grief,Disney,Snow White,Caregiving, 7 Dwarfs

How about you? Are you more Snow White or one or more of the dwarfs? Please share in the comments section below. If you don’t see the comment box, just click on the title of this post.

How I Felt Like all Seven Dwarfs, Often in ONE Day!

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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Walt Disney Productions

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Walt Disney Productions

  1. Sleepy– Ben often required assistance throughout the night. I am a NYC public school teacher, and there were days that I could barely keep my eyes open at work, and a classroom is a place where you need to be on your toes. My dad also called many times in the middle of the night if he didn’t feel well, and I would travel about 45 minutes either to his home or to meet him at the Emergency Room. Call me Sleepy!
  1. Dopey– When juggling Ben’s needs, I did not necessarily know what to do or how to help him, and, indeed, I did feel Dopey. The medical jargon was also confusing to me at times. Simple things just seemed out of reach for me because I became so overwhelmed or was just so tired. I broke things, dropped things, locked myself out of the apartment, and a bevy of other Dopey things.
  1. Doc– Ben did have medical care, and so did my dad, but when either of them didn’t feel well, sometimes it was up to me to figure out what might help. Sometimes, what we thought could be symptoms of a big problem would just go away. Sometimes I had to seek more advice or help. This is as close to a Doc as I will ever be!
  1. Happy– There is happiness. Sharing good times, making each other laugh, seeing Ben or my dad enjoy something, successfully meeting a need. Those definitely made me Happy!
  1. Bashful– Asking for help and not even knowing exactly what to ask for is embarrassing. Having to explain to professionals, or even friends, some things I would have preferred not to discuss, or even know about, was definitely cause for me to feel Bashful!
  1. Sneezy– Well, this might not apply to everyone, but I’ve got allergies, even to my cat, whose name, by the way, is Disney!
  1. Grumpy– When you’ve been through all of the above, sometimes in one day, it’s pretty easy to be Grumpy! To anyone who saw that side of me, I do apologize!

I welcome your comments. If you do not see the Comment form at the bottom of this post, click on the title of the post, then scroll to the bottom of the post and it should appear. Thanks.